Rejection to Redemption

THE TESTIMONY OF PAUL

8-21-08

 

Paul’s a student I met at school.  I got to know Paul through my son, Geoff, who met Paul while working at the school.  As Paul continued at the school he occasionally would talk with me about the Lord and how he found Christ.  I asked Paul if I could reprint his testimony after he showed it to me.  This is the story of how Paul found the Lord Jesus—out of all his pain, he has gained Christ—Thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift!

 

 

Let’s see where do I begin?  Well first off, when I was born, my parents were not planning on having me; they said I was a mistake; that I was never meant to be.  They took pills, used condoms and the sponge to prevent from having any more kids.

 

When I was young I took pills that my brother had and I ended up in a coma for three days. The doctors said I would not wake up but on the third day I did.  When I had turned 5 I was over at my neighbors.  I was on the bunk bed.  I fell back and hit the back of my head on a metal end.  I really should have died—BUT GOD HAD OTHER PLANS.

 

When I was little my mom and dad would fight a lot; they would scream and yell at each other all the time.  One day my mom threw my dad out and brought in her boyfriend, Joseph.  Now my mom had met him at where she had worked at the time, which was a mental institution; he was a patient. He was very abusive to me and my siblings; he would beat us, scream at us, and hurt us anyway he could.  He broke my noise and choked me; my mom allowed all of this.

 

As a form of punishment we would be awakened every morning and told we were to clean the whole house; otherwise, she wouldn’t feed us.  My mom would turn the other cheek when he did these things.  Inside I was very screwed up, and I never had experienced love for the first 12 years of my life.  At school, I had a few friends, but I was messed up. I would get into so much trouble.  I look back on that and I see how much He has changed me.

 

One night my mom called the police on Joseph.  It took six policemen to take him down.  So for a while things got back to normal, my mom returned to her normal self; but I was still messed up inside.  Then one day she abandoned us for a week; she said she would never come back, but the guy she ran away with, kicked her out of his car.  Then she started dating again.  She dated a few disturbed people; then she met Verlin.  Verlin was just as bad as Joseph; of course he was bipolar.  Verlin would do the same things Joseph would.  His favorite punishment was pushing my arm all the way up my back until it almost broke.

 

I was messed up, I tried cutting myself, drowning myself, and I had no love again. I ate lots of food to make myself feel better.  Then I heard about Jesus, but it was just religious stuff.  I was stuck between atheism and believing. I hated this so-called “loving God” thing.  I was wondering how He could let me suffer.  I went to church, but I didn't seek Him.

 

My mom put me into therapy to see if that would help me; none of it helped me.  I went to numerous therapists, and all I did was talk with them. None of them helped me. So for a while things were okay; then my mom had my little sister Maya. What a gift she was, from God Himself.  So Verlin and my mom fought a whole lot.  I got stuck in the middle of this fighting.  Then my mother ended up in the hospital, because she got ovarian cancer. The doctors performed a complete removal of her ovaries and uterus.  During that time, while Verlin was gone, my mom stayed at the hospital.  It was at that time that my brother tried to kill me—luckily he didn’t succeed. 

 

The teacher at school noticed marks on my body—so he called the cops who put me into a receiving home.  God where are you?  You said you loved me; said you wouldn’t let any one hurt me.  I stayed there for three months; and my brother wound up in a group home.  They let me out and I went home.  My brother moved in with my dad.  It was at this time that Verlin and my mom got into some big fights.  It got so bad that they slept in separate beds.  Verlin threatened to kill me—I felt so hurt, so messed up, I just wanted to die. 

 

One morning Verlin and my mom got really physical and he tried choking her.  He looked like he was succeeding—I just stood there.  I was thinking to myself:  Just let her die; she deserves it for all the evil she has done to me.  But I threw something at Verlin and he backed off.  Then he took my little sister and went outside onto the lawn.  My mom called the cops and the cops came but they let him take Maya with him.

 

He wanted to take Maya away forever. But we get her back; thank God!  

 

After some time had passed, I entered high school. I was still really messed up. (I cried so much.)  I had a best friend who was really a bad influence on me.  So I ended up doing wrong things; I make a ton of mistakes (hey I’m human).   I went to church, but I was just being religious.  I don't get the personal relationship thing with Jesus.  I got involved in a cult thing with this girl. I got out of it. (I was so lost!)

 

Then sadly, we move.  It was during the 11th grade.  I had lots of friends, but I lost them when we moved—just a few stayed with me.  After I moved I meet someone from the old church I used to attend.  I started talking to him, and asking him about God. He’s now one of my closest friends; funny how things work out.  I went to a Bible study, and all the other stuff—but I was still just religious.  I prayed and asked for forgiveness—I struggled a whole lot.  I didn’t give my life fully to Him.   

 

So it was a few days before my birthday.  I did something horrible—I stab one of my friends with a pencil.  The next day the police showed up and arrested me and took me to juvenile hall.  I asked God that night, “Please Lord, get me out of here.”  By some miracle of Grace, they let me go and my mom picked me up.  I finally found Him.  I had finally given Him all of me, and all my scars were gone, conquered. I felt relieved. But for the next two months I still struggled, because they put me under house arrest until my trial date.

 

I hated it.  I felt so worthless, the devil got to me. I almost, killed myself, and then a voice inside of me, said let go, let go of it all. I was so freaked out.  I tore up the suicide note.  After that, I had court a few days later.  I was scared; they could throw me in jail, for 30 days. I prayed to Him, He answered me—what an awesome God!!! 

 

The judge gave me 1 year of probation and two months of community service, it was a small price to pay for what I could have faced. During that time I moved from my mom’s house, into my dad’s home. I learned during community service, I had the gift of preaching, to speak to young kids there.  Now I am 19 years old. I am amazed I am still alive; to just be here is a miracle. THANK YOU JESUS. You are my everything. So now I am going to be a preacher. I am just a servant of the Lord, nothing more. I don't worry about how much money I will make, just enough to pay the bills. I will not be a hypocrite! I will go everywhere and speak the Word of the Lord. God has truly brought beauty from my pain. He is my inner core. Without Him I would not want to be alive.

God bless you all,
Love Paul